Dear McDonald's Patrons:
In an effort to find the positive in things, and possibly be less catty (for a minute at least, what do you want from me?) I want to take a moment to thank you for a few things. I mean, I REALLY want to give you props.
I want to thank those parents who don't allow their children to come over to the table where my three-year-old is trying desperately to not be distracted. Thank you for teaching your brats to keep their hands to themselves and not take his Happy Meal toy...off his tray...at HIS table...after I have asked them twice not to...while giving you dirty looks.
I would like to thank those parents who realize that ragged footy pajamas are not appropriate at lunch time in Playplace on a six-year-old. (Assuming she is six-years-old is being generous, trust me.)
Also, to expand on that gratitude, I will thank the parents who don't then have their generously-six-year-old girl change into actual clothes in the middle of a Playplace that has a bathroom RIGHT THERE. IN THE PLAYPLACE. While she screams that boys will see her naked, and "please mommy, can we just go in the potty".
I want to thank the parents who don't allow their children to literally walk on the 3" wide window sill behind the booth we are sitting at, who subsequently fall down onto the booth we are sitting at and crying for what feels like several minutes while a stranger consoles them until their mother finally realizes where the wailing is coming from and that it is, indeed, her spawn.
I would like to thank the parents who teach their children not to climb the outside fence of the Playplace. You know, the one that says "do not play on fence". Yes, that one. Thank you.
In addition, it is my pleasure to thank those parents who made today's outing the most eventful and interesting hour of my week. Thank you.
Lastly, but certainly not least, I want to thank the parents who follow through on a playdate they set up with a certain three-year-old boy who gets very upset when he is told for three days that his friend will be having lunch with him in Paradise...er...McDonald's... I would also like to thank that same parent for calling to tell me they will not make it to said playdate. A very special thank you for that.
You know...maybe I just shouldn't have gone out in public today.
P.S. that may have been less catty, but the snark? I will always give you a bit o' the snark! You're welcome.