Notes from the Road: Edition 1

Moose thinks there might be something wrong with this plan.

Revisions

Jeez.

Blogger is on my nerves. Or more accurately, my "blogger" skills are lacking and that is annoying. I am attempting to make some revisions to my personal blog so I can then make some good ones to my Urban Utopia Photography blog. You know, to make it more appealing, user friendly and inviting...maybe then I'll be more apt to update more often. *Sigh.*

So, if you come here and it's busted. It'll be back soon. This blog gets to be my guinea pig.

And I leave you with this:

Lucky they're cute...

When I have days like today, well week's like this week...let's be honest here-annd it's only Tuesday, people-I like to see things like this, to remind me that not every day will be this rough.

Here's looking toward tomorrow.

Texting, Girl Style

Text between The Girl and me this afternoon, directly after she got out of her first Drill Team practice.

Girl: it was SO fun mom
Me: yay! your dad should be there to pick you up.
Girl: i'm in da car
Me: 'da'. Really? You are not 'hood. Try using 'the'.
Girl: Ur DA bomb
Me: that is the only time 'da' is appropriate.
Girl: ok fun sucker

I am pretty sure she wins this one.
Damn it.

{Quickie} Fast & Funny

Scene: driving down Highway 99 in South Everett

The Girl: Mom, what is Honey's.
Me (fully anticipating the look of horror that would elicit from her face upon answering): a strip club
The Girl: EWWWWWWW!
The Boy (without missing a beat): I want you take me to Honey's, Mommy. I love it.

We laughed.
We laughed hard.
Seriously.

Educational Eavesdrop

It's rare that the Girl say something embarrassingly funny.
Or should I say it used to be?
She will be twelve in a couple weeks and every day brings us closer to teenager-hood (including catching on to the naughty innuendo, jumping in on conversations and truly understanding adult conversations...to name a few).
Can you hear all the excitement in those statements?
No?
That's a shame, because I swear it's there.

So with all the pre-teen angst and attitude and experiences we've had lately, this shining gem fell right into my lap today. And I was happy once again.

While visiting with a rarely seen friend today, the Boy was going incredibly ape-shit. Crying jag, then happy, then crazy, then gloomy...the conversation went just like this:

Me (laughing, of course): that boy is bipolar today! Jeez.
Kenny laughs.
The Girl (accusingly and shocked): Mo-om!
Me (confused as to why she would sound like I said something AWFUL): What?
The Girl: he is NOT!
Kenny and I exchange confused glances; I'm thinking there must be some kind of misunderstanding here...so I ask...oh, yes, I ask.
Me (addressing the Girl): What do you think "bipolar" means?
The Girl (mortified that I would ask, apparently): you knooooow, that he likes boys and girls.
Needless to say (but I will anyway), Kenny and I bust up laughing.
Me (between gut wrenching laughs): I think you mean bisexual.
The Girl: Oh. Yeah.

And more laughing from us all, while the Boy looks on confused as to why we are laughing so hard. And explaining, that while there is nothing wrong with being bisexual or bipolar, these two things are VERY different.
To which Kenny then says something along the lines of "not really, both take you up and down...wait, I didn't mean it like that...like "one day 'now I like boys'; and the next day 'now I like girls...oh, nevermind"

I am sure that 'bipolar' will be substituted in A LOT in future conversations. Because that was hilarious!

Wordless Wednesday: Preschooler "Present" Style

Whole Lotta Silly Goin' On

The boy is KILLING me today.
He has these days where I am pretty sure as his mom, I am the only one that finds him completely hilarious...but then he has days like today where there is no freakin' way I am alone in that feeling.

This morning, he chose to sleep in. Like, REALLY sleep in. I think he woke up about 8:45, as opposed to prior to the butt crack of dawn. Because I helped the Girl flat iron her hair for the first time on her own for school (with her shiny new Christmas present) I was wide awake at 7am. Thinking that he would be up any time, I decided to read in bed with the quiet of my house surrounding me until he did. Little did I know I'd get almost half way through a book before he woke up. It was a nice reprieve from the ordinary, don't get me wrong, but we had placed to BE. Heh.

When he did decide to grace me with his presence he was in a great mood. He was surrounded by that warm-bodied-just-woke-up-snuggle-me-before-it-wears-off goodness. So I did. Then he wanted to "pretend sleeping mommy". I complied, of course, because he is the boss. I was unaware that the pretend snoring was then to be interrupted by the loudest "COCKADOODLEDOOOOOOO" I have ever heard, pointed directly into my innocent ear.
Cute? Yes.
Annoying when it happens SEVEN times? Oh, yes.
That game was over.

It was however, followed by a lot of tickling. As he flipped over on his belly and I squeezed his cute little dinosaur pajama clad butt with one hand, I told him he had a "cute little booty". To which I was dutifully, and seriously, informed that he, and I quote: "am growing and my butt will get bigger and bigger. And my pee pee will get bigger and bigger."
Yeah. Awesome. I got nothin'.

Had enough for one morning? Well, this afternoon wasn't any less funny.
After straightening up the kitchen and getting lunch on the table for his majesty, he got my attention to inform me that I "forgot them ones books". Let me tell you...I didn't see these "books" he was referring to...but as Parent of the Year, I completely avoided the argument (because honestly, I've had enough today) and said "I'll get them later."
To which he replied to himself: "you're killding me mommy. you're just killding me".
And I, again as Parent of the Year, thought to myself: Pot? Meet kettle. But since I didn't say it aloud, I will retain my crown.

And one more little anecdote for you from lunch time:
The Boy: Mommy, I'm all done eating. I'm so so super super fuuuuull. (Please note the drama included in that statement.)
Me: Okay. Take five more bites and you can be done.
The Boy: No, three Mommy. We do three cuz I'm three. (He is right...)
Me: Okay. Three bites.
The Boy (to himself): This is super hard to do. It's so soooo hard to do. Man.
Three bites later..."I'm super super done, mommy."
Me: go wash up.

No, seriously, if it's that much of a battle maybe he actually ISN'T hungry.

And now?? He is hollering from the bathroom like a broken record, "Mom, I went poop. Mom I went poop. Mom, I went poop." Why? Because he doesn't wipe that end by himself yet.

Welcome to life with a Preschooler...all day...every day...and you know what?
I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Vampire Love

I have read the Twilight saga, I am fully ensconced in the Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire series, and am truly, madly, deeply in love with Showtime's TrueBlood series.

(P.S. I read the books WAY before the show was in production talks, I will have you know.)

And while I won't jump on my sturdy soapbox for my love or hate for any of the aforementioned entertainment, I did want to share with you the vampires I am, and will always be, enamored with.

I am positive you will love them too (if you don't already!).

*Someone found a victim...

Interesting Tuesday

Unemployment has allowed me the opportunity to spend special time with the Girl and the Boy, sometimes one-on-one, but usually together. We have been taking advantage of the free movies shown at the local cinema. Usually, this is an uneventful excursion. The Boy sits and watches the movies like a well behaved little dude, the Girl tolerates the G movies (and I think she secretly enjoys them).

Which brings me to today. Today was um...er...interesting.

We arrived today to see Space Chimps a tad early, as usual (we like to sit in the railing row to avoid evil looks from the people in front of us when the Boy kicks their seat -- my apologies if this has ever been you. About ten minutes after we got there, the Girl pointed out (in her not to subtle way) some um...er...interesting footwear on a woman walking directly in front of us. At first I wasn't quite sure what she was pointing and gesturing maniacally at, as all I saw were toes sticking out from her high water mom jeans. Now, don't get me wrong, I people watch and bag on fashion disasters with the best of them, but this? This took the frickin' cake! Since I couldn't subtly take a photo (I do have standards) in the dimly lit theater, here is a photo I was able to borrow online.

WHAT? What the hell? Like I said, at first I saw just feet, then I thought I saw toe socks due to what I thought was tie dye - which would be bad enough. Then I thought, where in the hell did this woman find TOE CROCs? That's what they looked like you guys. No! It was shoes I was looking at, and I use that term loosely. I know this because when she sat NEXT TO ME, I got to see them up close and personal. Hers were tie dyed. No. Really.

If that wasn't bad enough, here is the second odd occurrence at the theater. First, let me say for the record, that as a mom, I realize that not everything my kids do is as cute to others as it is to me. I am fine with this, truly.

I promise.

So, that being said, the Boy, who if you will remember is three years old and ADORABLE and FUNNY, is in this phase where he is obsessed with running around with a makeshift cape saying "dun da dun, super Boy" (I really don't know how to type out the Superman heroic sound effect, ok?). On the way to the bathroom prior to the start of the movie, he was saying this with his arms out behind him, sans cape of course - we are in public after all - walking behind a fortyish woman. As we cross the threshold of the bathroom door, the Boy says "I'm super Boy! dun da dun! I rescue that girl!" and points at this woman. I, of course, thought this was quite endearing and hilarious. She however, did not. She turned to him and said, "who me?" He said, "yeah you!" all excited-like. She then says, and this is the over-the-top, unbelievably-rude part, "no, I'll rescue myself" and shuts the bathroom door!

Can you picture it, people?? The Boy looks up at me like "the hell?"

We proceeded to use the restroom while Mommy said things aloud like "it's ok, buddy you are my hero" and "some people just don't have a sense of humor" and "wow. relax".

She of course, was silent.

Happy Tuesday to you too, lady! I hope you enjoyed your FREE G rated KIDS movie...I hope your seat got kicked. A lot.

Love Thursday

Today, I am working on learning how to love myself.
And not only on Thursdays.

I would *love* to find within me the ability, strength and courage to be happy with myself, confident in my decisions, proud of my progress and content with my image.

Today, I am thankful for the mental clarity to realize that all of these things are solely up to me to convert them into a reality instead of a burning desire. I think I am almost ready.

...almost ready to learn to love myself.

Multiple Uses, Apparently

Picture this little conversation with the Boy:

Boy (excitedly pointing at the wall in the living room): Woook! (3 year old for 'look') What's that???
Me (pretty disinterested): a bug
Boy (getting more and more excited): No! Its a spider.
Me (still not that interested - it was pretty far away): oh.
Boy (approaching manic): GET IT!!!!
Me: I can't reach it.
*Which was a total lie. I was just too lazy to get my bum up off the couch to get it at that very moment.
Boy (a light bulb suddenly appearing above his head): I help you.
*And then he disappeared down the hall toward the bathroom. I turned to the Girl and we conspired that he was going to get his potty stool for me to reach the spider. To our surprise he walked out of the bathroom with the plunger. To which the Girl broke into hysterical laughter, all the while explaining that is what the Beast used to get a spider out of his reach recently.

Interesting.

And now I know that plungers can be used for more things than merely making the poop go down the toilet on a bad day.

Good to know, right?

You're welcome.

Searching for Serenity

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change;
Courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference.

This, in all it's wisdom, is truly my saving grace.

A Lesson in Opposites

The Boy's daycare is heavy on the curriculum, hence the decision to send him there in the first place. This month one of the lessons has been opposites. The Boy has not taken this lesson lightly, in fact every toy in the house goes "up, down, up, down". Balls get stuck in places when they go "in, out, in, out" but the "out" part hasn't been mastered or the toy just wasn't created for that kind of nonsense, which can be VERY frustrating for a boy of two and a half.

With all of this in mind, it shouldn't have come to my surprise that the Beast and the Boy (and then me) had an opposites conversation with a life lesson attached.

The Beast came barrelling out of the bathroom wheezing with barely controlled laughter, the Boy hot on his heels. He proceeded to gaspingly explain to me that the Boy came into the bathroom and upon seeing daddy standing in the "ready" position over the toilet said, "Daddy pee-pee? Boy pee-pee too", then stood directly behind him to do his business in the training toilet. He came around to check daddy's stance, looked up at the Beast and said, "Daddy pee-pee too? Boy little pee-pee, daddy big pee-pee."

The Beast, try as he might, could not get the Boy to repeat this grand discovery. I have a hunch that he was too excited about the boy's revelation and the coming day he can have the "someday, son this will all be yours" conversation.

So, because something is wrong with me, I decided I'd give it a whirl. I asked the Boy if he had a pee-pee. He responded that he "already did". Um...yeah, I totally meant that as a noun kid, not a verb. Apparently grammar hadn't been taught yet at the daycare or by his parents. But, since I rarely give up, I tried a different tack...and asked him "Is Boy's pee-pee little?" To which I got an annoyed I-can't-believe-you-would-even-consider-it response of "NOOOO, Boy pee-pee big. Daddy's big too. Boy little, daddy big."

Clearly, he is confused by all the pee-pee questions. And the thought that someday that could all be his.

And I am left to never wonder again why we have yet to receive a "Best Parenting" Award...

Unsettling

Okay, so I am not afraid or ashamed to admit most things, especially when it comes to my likes and dislikes. Anyone who knows me knows my opinion is always readily available. Heh.

I like Hilary Duff.

I like her music.

She was adorable as Lizzie McGuire and the handful of made-for-tweens movies she has performed in (I won't insult you by calling it acting-no matter how much I like her, I still have standards).

I think she is relatively still a "good" girl...at least when you compare her to LiLo and Brit, right? Even after her stint in War, Inc. which included dropping a live scorpion down her pants (for real!), which I only glancingly witnessed when the Beast watched it - I was scrapbooking in my glorious scrapbooking haven on the dining room table, I still think she is adorable. I realize and can admit, as some others don't/won't, that she has to grow up eventually, and at least she is doing it in a classier way than those other tramps (whom I still love, but I digress).

So, imagine my surprise when I saw this:

Now, don't get me wrong here. I think she's beautiful, and intelligent and well...I sort of give her props for making the cover. At least she didn't fug it up.

Here's where I take issue: I discovered this little gem when I was perusing my rental options at the local Hollywood Video this evening with the Girl and I heard her excited tween voice exclaim from behind me: "Look, mom! Hilary Duff is on that magazine!" (She is about to turn eleven you know, so her love for Miss Duff needs no explanation.) However, I turned around and saw her approaching this magazine. IN ALL ITS GLORY! No black plastic bag cover, no black plexiglass flap covering the titles displayed across the page (they don't show here but they are what you'd expect), no parental advisory. Just there on the turn-about. I diverted her attention with a video and a quick "Oh, cool! Hey come look over here with me, we're almost done!" Then thanked my lucky stars she is still naive enough to have only noticed the picture.

While the photo is really not THAT bad, no nipple slippage or anything, its the fact that they didn't even try to camouflage that the magazine is available there that is unsettling. C'mon, even 7-11 has the black plexiglass flaps that cover the chance of nudity-and the mags are behind the counter at most of the stores. Not the video store...they have it right there prominently displayed between the candy shelf and the previously viewed titles for your convenience. The amount and type of questions that would have ensued had she read the titles of the articles emblazoned across the cover makes me want to shake the Hollywood Video employees until some sense comes into their heads as I break out in a cold sweat.

Now, with all of that said.

Way to go Hilary...work it girl.

Way to Fug it up, Hollywood Video.

Glad I have ninja reflex parenting skills.