Thursday, November 6, 2008

Open Letter of Apology

Dear Sesame Street, Big Bird, et al:

We know you are missing a vital member of your morning show. Let me apologize before I explain.

We are very, very, very, sorry.
It seems that there was a minor miscommunication among our household. When we asked to 'borrow' that cute, furry, little red monster, Elmo, so that our cute, non-furry, little dude could, um, zip him on for All Hallows Eve festivities, we had every intention of returning him in the condition he was borrowed. However, thru no fault of our own, we are unable to do so.

Please see the CSI photo below.

Maybe it was the m&m's, or the pixie sticks, or well, lack of self control, but this little monster clearly had TOO MUCH SUGAR. I looked all over for a tag that would warn us, a disclaimer of sorts, that upon eating said sugar he would run in circles until he hit the wall and well, end up like this. Alas, no such tag or disclaimer was found. How could we have known that this was his first time trick-or-treating? Hmm?

Let's face it, I would call this bad parenting. Blame Big Bird, or Grover, or - dare I say it? - one of the strange humans you have running around that place. May I suggest a background check in the future? Maybe verify some sort of parenting experience when you hire on a new human or monster.

Anywho...we'll return him, just as soon as we figure out how to scrape his furry little body off the floor and shove him in a box. Any suggestions for getting his mouth to close?

Our efforts have been unsuccessful.
So, in closing, thanks for letting us 'borrow' him. And, uh, I'm sure he'll be good as new in no time.
The McGlocklin Family


Anonymous said...

That is absolutely hilarious!!


Anonymous said...

I choked on my gum while reading this it was so funny! I love your sense of's why we're friends! LOL


Anonymous said...

How dare you killed Elmo, you get to explain it to our
Very funny & brilliant writing, BTW is it mean that i kicked his corpse?